The Business of Paying for Things

I like paying for myself – for my meals, transportation, events and concerts. I’m not the richest person on earth, but I can afford things. If I can’t, I probably shouldn’t attempt it in the first place.

Then there are times when people try to pay for my expenses. Of course I am grateful, flattered by their generosity. If they are a) reasonably older than I am, b) reasonably better off than I am, or c) my family or something close to that, I’d shamelessly accept it. Same goes for special occasions, such as my birthday or my graduation. But in all other cases, it makes me uncomfortable.

Well, I take that back. I’m fine when I can pay back later, even if it doesn’t belong to the case a, b or c. Nonetheless, equal ‘give and take’ isn’t always the option. With my girlfriends, I usually have no problem; we’re good at keeping things even. It’s my guy friends that I frequently run in to trouble with.

A lot of men I know – it seemed – feel an urge, if not duty, to pay for women. I don’t know what’s behind that male psyche. And I don’t care if they do, as long as they let me pay for them as much as they pay for me. I can’t speak for other girls, but for me, it is somewhat stressful and angering to be unable to pay back. Even if I know their intention is benign, I feel reduced and lowered. I want to be equal with my peers in the every aspect of life. If you can share your ideas, hopes, and dreams on the same level, why can’t you share your financial responsibility?